9 Sep 2015

The Lost Summer // 2015

I posted these words originally over on my instagram account. as i was mourning the end of the summer. The end of a hard long summer holidays. I know I set myself such high expectations - expectations that no one but me has put in place. I know this, I know I am doing the best job possible. And I know overall my parenting skills are mostly rocking. But I still sat and felt a little sad for my boys. More so M, as he grows bigger and takes in more of what is around him. I want to fill his life and brain and thoughts with things - teach him there is so much to do and see. Our summer turned into the summer we had to move. Free days were spent packing, sorting, throwing out and orgainsing. Time and money were tight. Then in the midst of it all I lost my Aunt to a heart attack suddenly. A shock to all of us.We still had to move and I had to drive my focus to getting it all orgainsing before allowing myself to grieve. As well as still working during the summer and keeping everyone in the right place and the right time.
Oh biggest boy. I'm sorry our summer was not full of day trips and play dates or museum visits and theme parks or craft adventures or fun days out. Instead it was emotional, sad, busy, expensive and overwhelming, me and your dad have tried our best. But we have had fun times amongst all the madness. We've survived our first full summer holiday (thanks to an handy spreadsheet and all the family getting in and helping out meaning I can work through the summer and spend time with the kids) by biggest boy who is full of energy and is starting year 1 tomorrow. You've grown so much since this time last year and I have no doubt that this next school year will be the same. Grow, learn, experience and have fun. My biggest dude I love you.#LifeAndTimesOfMWGE #thelostsummer#family #instakids

Scrolling back through my photo stream the things I notice is a lack of pictures (I do this when I am sad, overwhelmed and just plain busy my focus is just being rather than recording) but the pictures I have snapped are happy ones. Full of bright and colourful things, holding hands and silly selfies, park trips and soft plays, building legos and having cuddles. It may not have been the summer that I had planned before we got the notice of termination, but it was the summer we had. The summer may be a distant memory now - but as we settle into a new routine in our new home. The new term has begun and we are now living. 

I'm sorry boys the summer was not what I wanted it to be, but I think you had fun anyway.


5 comments:

  1. Memories aren't just made up from spending lots of silly money on days out or on constructing family fun - I'm sure you're family enjoyed the same summer that most of did - utter chaos! Don't worry, be happy xo

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  2. Oh bless you. Moving sucks. I'm also really sorry for your loss. I'm sure the kids had fun regardless. Kids can make an adventure from anything.

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  3. Oh bless you. Moving sucks. I'm also really sorry for your loss. I'm sure the kids had fun regardless. Kids can make an adventure from anything.

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  4. Oh bless you. Moving sucks. I'm also really sorry for your loss. I'm sure the kids had fun regardless. Kids can make an adventure from anything.

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  5. We too had a death in the family over the summer, and in the many days before, my three children spent so long playing in my grandfather's garden,whilst we waited and held hands and talked. It was a different kind of summer but an important one in emotional growth.

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